”“What then?” I asked.“That will be up to her, but we’re never going to ask her to leave.”“No, we’re not,” I agreed.“You realize that might be the last time she sleeps with you, don’t you?” Jessica asked. “I don’t think so, but it could very well be.”I hadn’t thought about it, but Abbie had made the comment, which I’d thought referred only to Becka, that there were other guys out there. I wondered if she was telegraphing something more.“It could be,” I agreed.March 10, 1990, Milford, Ohio“Jess told me what you’re doing,” I chuckled.“I would have thought you’d have figured it out yourself,” Doctor Mercer said with a smile.“I can be pretty dense at times. But I think in this case I was so worried about Bethany that I didn’t give much thought to what you were doing.”“And how are you doing?”“Good. As I told you, we’ve been having those Rap Sessions discussing death and dying, plus I’ve been talking to you both in person and on the phone. And I’ve talked to Bethany both in person and on. ..then realized thatthat was probably the drug activating...right on cue.I had to act quickly, but took a deep breath to remain relaxed. Any senseof panic would put adrenaline into my body, undermining the drug. I slowlyreached under my pillow and grasped the object that would finally solvethe mysteries I so longed to know.I let my mind drift and blinked slowly...sluggishly.My breathing became rhythmic...steady.My sense of being, sense of humanity disappearing with unconsciousness.I blinked again, leaving my eyes closed for just a second......And snapped them open, going from drowsy to completely alert in aninstant.I was now bent over the bed with my arms on the back of a very large man -- Me.I pulled my new feminine hands up and took a step back regarding the malebody before me. Then slowly, almost believing it was just another one ofthose damn dreams, looked down at myself......and saw the dark blue robe covering a slightly built female body.I did it. I actually did it. I'm her!I.
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